RE-UNDERSTANDING LONELINESS

Approximately 25 years after the death of the Prophet of Islam, in 657 AD, when the Islamic State had reached very large borders, the Battle of Siffin took place between the Caliph of this state, Ali, and the army of the Syrian governor, Muawiyah. This battle also caused radical disagreements in the Islamic religion. And this issue is still being debated among Islamic scholars.

While reading an article about this war, I came across the writer's thoughts that basically commenting on this issue is of no use to anyone, that both sides of the war are important figures for Islam, and therefore it is not right to feel hostility towards one of the parties to the war in any way because of this war. To support this idea, the writer added a line from a poem on this subject by a Kurdish scholar who lived many years ago to the article.

Ji şerrê sehebna neke qal û qîl 

Lewre cennetî ne qatîl û maqtûl

In other words, do not gossip for the sake of the Sahabah (people who saw the prophet) because both the murderer and the victim are in heaven.

Don't forget this poem, I will mention it again!

I will not discuss this war in detail, the subject I want to talk about is much different.

Star Wars is a masterpiece that I, like many others around the world, admire greatly. There are certain groups in the Star Wars universe that have supernatural powers. The source of this power (in other words, the god of that universe) is called the 'Force' by many. There are also some witch groups called it 'thread' in the Star Wars universe.

Those who represent good among those with supernatural powers are called Jedi. Those who represent evil are called Sith and Darth. In the Star Wars universe, Ahsoka Tano is a Jedi. Maul is an evil character. And he is already called Darth Maul. Darth Maul and Ahsoka Tano are both my favorite characters in the Star Wars universe.

The other day I watched a video of Ahsoka and Maul fighting on YouTube. Since I love both characters so much, I couldn't bring myself to badmouth one over the other. So I adapted the poem I mentioned above for the Ali and Muawiyah fight for Ahsoka and Maul. I adapted the poem, written for the fight between Ali and Muawiyah that I mentioned above, for Ahsoka and Darth Maul

Ji şerrê Jedi û Darth’a neke qal û qîl 

Lewra bi Force’î ne qatîl û maqtûl

So don't gossip about the Jedi and Darth fight, because both are Force-driven. I did that. This adaptation of mine made me laugh a little. It made me laugh a little because I thought I'd rather someone else hear it and laugh at this adaptation with me.

However, I am not friends with anyone who knows both the poem I mentioned above and Star Wars. This is where what I want to explain in this article comes to light.

What does loneliness really mean or when does it really start to become annoying? Based on this personal experience I had yesterday, I started to think about these questions again.

Desire to share:

Loneliness can perhaps be seen most objectively and briefly as the state of being alone. What makes it so valuable as a concept is that it is boring and many things are done through this boredom. That is, art or scientific studies.

I ask myself this question:

"If loneliness were not a bothersome concept, would so much be done about it?" And to answer my own question: I think definitely not. I ask myself a second question: "So why is loneliness bothersome?"

One of the reasons why loneliness is annoying is the desire to share in humans. In other words, we are creatures that tend to share our memories, jokes, pains and many other things. In fact, this feeling is so strong that, as we see on social media, people share everything. They share their private lives so much that there is nothing private left that belongs to them. They share so much that it kills the awareness of privacy. It is clear that the desire to share is a powerful entity that we cannot ignore.

The fact that the desire to share, such a strong feeling, is not satisfied is an important factor that makes loneliness annoying. In this case, if people do not have the desire to share or can control it, loneliness can be less annoying.

Ability to receive what is shared:

Sharing is not an act that people can do alone. At least one other person is needed. In order for the act of sharing to be satisfying, the person in the position of receiving what is shared must have the ability to receive what is shared. For example, if you try to share your roller skates with someone who has no feet, this will be a sharing that no one will be satisfied with. In other words, in order for sharing to be satisfying, the party receiving the sharing must have the ability to receive and evaluate what is shared.

What I mean by the ability of people who are recipients of sharing to use/evaluate what is shared is not that people who do not have this ability are defective. Because not everyone has to know the Siffin War that I mentioned above and not everyone has to know the poem that I mentioned above about this war. Again, whether people know these or not, no one has to watch Star Wars and know the characters that I mentioned above.

Having many people around a person, having many notifications on their phone, being in crowded photos definitely does not mean that the person is not lonely. If the people around us are not the ones who can receive what we share, then we really experience loneliness.

If we do not want to experience loneliness, we should either control our desire to share or control the compatibility of what we want to share with the people around us.